Journal Entry: March 10th, 2022. When dad was dying, I would lie awake in the room above him, terrified that he would fall out of his bed, or die alone. In the early hours of the morning I would sneak downstairs and sit with his sleeping form, watch his body rise and fall with his breath, and eventually fall asleep with my head on his bed, my breath in sync with his. We moved around each other mostly in silence. His pain devoid of words, my fear of loss unspoken. In those moments I felt I had failed him but in hindsight, now looking back, not only was it all that we could manage but it was all that was needed. I was attending to him, and he to me. I was sitting quietly with him, holding space, watching time, holding on, slowing down the moments, preserving my memories, sensing him, mooring him inside me. I’d like to imagine he was doing the same, that he was carrying my attendance, my care for him out of this life and into death. (Walker, 2022)
Anna Walker, PhD is an artist, writer, and storyteller working across performance and mixed media. For many years, she has been using moving images and sound to explore how the body responds to overwhelming traumatic and stressful situations and its resilience. She was awarded an MA in Fine Art from Southampton University in 1998, and a certificate in Psychotherapy from CBPC, Cambridge, in 2010. An interest in the effects of trauma on the body, developed during her work as a relational psychotherapist, led to a PhD in Arts and Media at Plymouth University, which she completed in May 2017. Her arts-practice as research investigates memory, identity, displacement and migration. Most recent exhibitions include: Video: “We Are The Granddaughters of Those Who Didn’t Die” 2021-2022, performance and video, February 2, 2022 Goddess Lounge and “After Progress Online Exhibition, February 2022.” Video: “Indra’s Horse.” a tale from the Mahabharata 2021, in collaboration with Ojapali performer: Nayanjyoti Nath for @folklog + @brtitishcouncil. Videos:“Red is the Colour of Pomegranate”: 4 videos, 1.9.20 - 31.12.20. Performance and video: “Macha's Body in Pain” 2020.
“Red is the Colour of Pomegranate: Proposition 4. Excerpt. 1.9.20 - 31.12.20